I want to share what’s been going into my piano spreadsheet these days, because it’s important.

Integral, if you’ll forgive the pun.

I know that’s too small for you to read, so I’ve copied the text below — with very little additional context, because you’ll be able to get enough of the context on your own. ❤️

Hanon: start 9:23 end 9:31 duration 0:08 measures 1-350

win is integrated

wow was that EXCELLENT. WIN INT, got a little distracted partway through because I realized that "it doesn't matter who does it as long as it is done" and realized I had to blog L and my chess puzzle, no ego errors, one technical error on turnaround at 12 (knew the pattern, LH thumb just didn't move fast enough) otherwise WELL DONE MAGIC

work turnaround at 12 5xCx [work the turnaround on the 12th variation five times consecutively]

Hanon: start 9:34 end 9:38 duration 0:04 measures 332-337

5xCx

3x win, then took break to write down notes about blog post so they wouldn't distract me, then started without thinking and failed, then did 1 win and 1 non-integrated win b/c thinking about notating this, start over, 5xCx: WIN INT

add 13 [start learning the 13th variation tomorrow]

Bach Ricercar a 6: start 9:38 end 9:44 duration 0:05 measures 1-78

win is integrated

EXTREMELY GOOD. No errors, a few wobbles due to not-complete-knowing, UNTIL 65 when ego took over (thinking about what L would think of this) and then I failed for real.

IMPORTANT LEARNING: a piece doesn't die until an ego error. You can play beautifully with a hesitation wobble and keep playing beautifully because the piece is still there, still central, still being played. You can play integrated and lose focus for a minute and come back without getting mad at you (important important important) because the piece was being played while you were gone and is still being played. The ego error, which puts you at the center of your thoughts instead of the music, is the death of magic.

again!

Bach Ricercar a 6: start 9:45 end 9:50 duration 0:05 measures 1-78

win is integrated, challenge will be not comparing it to previous run and not hesitating before previous error, solution to challenge is to put the doing at the center, this is what is important

OUTSTANDING. Played very well even with the clock going off, even while noting that the clock bells were not set to the wrong time, even while coming up on the parts on which I had hesitated earlier, all of which were smooth and integrated this time around. Found a technical error to fix at the end of the piece, technically a memory error but not an ego error, fingers just didn't know where to go, will work 3xCx (because longer than previous chunk, 5xCx could be a gumption trap)

work section 3xCx

Bach Ricercar a 6: start 10:05 end 10:06 duration 0:01 measures 65-78

3xCx

2 wins technically accurate, 1 WIN INT

circle back around [at the next practice session] and try it again...

Mozart K332 2: start 10:07 end 10:12 duration 0:05 measures 1-40

win is integrated

INCREDIBLE, in part because I let my ego creep into my thoughts — I thought "maybe I am ready for Benjamin Zander" and then thought "it doesn't matter, all that matters is that I am ready for this moment right now" and I brought it back, also was tempted to pause and write and start over but I KEPT IT BACK, beautiful beautiful beautiful WIN INT, how can I keep this, the answer seems to be equilibrium in the Mireille sense and also to avoid dink/donks and letting minds I don't want into my thoughts

yes yes yes we do it again soon

Ravel La Valse: start 10:17 end 10:28 duration 0:11 measures 274- 290

win is secure and accurate from memory

having trouble remembering the D in the LH in 278 and the E in the RH in 288, got those but had trouble remembering the RH B in 290, quick break to refresh, then had trouble remembering G in 275, starting to feel like I do after solving several chess puzzles in session, brain is getting tired

let's do it 5xCx

Ravel La Valse: start 10:29 end 10:32 duration 0:02 measures 274-290

5xCx, with each win pushing further towards integration

3x WIN INT, then 4th pass shorted the D# in 287 and failed afterwards because frustrated with self

try again

Ravel La Valse: start 10:33 end 10:37 duration 0:04 measures 274-290

5xCx WIN INT. This will be hard. You are tired and want to move on; a setback could lead to frustration. You will solve this challenge by going back to what you know is right: putting the music at the center.

1 pass WIN INT, 1 pass technical wobble, 1 false start, 1 pass WIN INT BEST EVER, thinking about the gumption boost you'll get from doing the other four, let's go, WIN INT, just began cycling and cycling and cycling and getting it more and more beautiful every time, this is why people practice over and over, it isn't grinding, it is WONDER

STOP